FOUR BRAVE RAVERS

WOLFPACK OF ONE SINGLES CLUB: SEVENTEEN
You know how the Arctic Monkeys (that's still the worst school-band name this side of the Swamp Donkeys) only really do songs about going down the indie disco, because they're only little and it's all they really know about? Well I've had a go. This one was (very hastily) lobbed out after last week's debacle at The Bear (thanks to those of you that turned up, by the way) when this dude skipped up to DJ Jimmy the Mitch and asked, "darling, don't you have any old skool?" We do now. Let's 'ave it etc.

Meet 'Four Brave Ravers' by clicking here

All it's going to take is four brave ravers heading for the city lights. They'll never let us in in these jeans and trainers. Or maybe we'll be surprised. Because martin knows a guy on the door, who says he'll say he's seen us before, there's girls from University coming in a bus. Do you think if we buy them a drink they'll get off with us?

No? Isn't it obvious? isn't it weird? Whistle posse, your parents are here.

All it's going to take is four brave ravers, skirting around the dance floor. I know it's never easy to flirt with strangers, but that is what we came here for. What happened to the kid with the drugs? I think these things he sold us are duds. It's been a bad night and it's going to get worse because the last time I took two, I took two weeks off work.

Isn't it obvious? The music of time moves too fast for all of us. And Friday night lights just make you look old. Whistle posse it's time to go home.

It's been too long since I last went out dancing. But it's like falling off a horse. It hurts and it's embarrassing.