THE GREATEST TAPE SHE EVER MADE

WOLFPACK OF ONE SINGLES CLUB: TWO
Free tape with issue two. (Jayne did the cover by the way - brilliant innit?)

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In the late 1980's this pretty girl gave me the greatest tape she ever made. She claimed if I played it ladies would strip naked and worship me like I was some kind of deity. Well I was just eighteen and that sounded amazing to me. So I took the thing home and I stared at it meaningfully. It came decorated with a terrible painting of a grizzly bear by a grave, and I tried to decipher the hearts and the spiders she'd biro-ed deep into the sleeve of the greatest tape she ever made.

When I looked inside it said sorry I lied about the girls, I was just being weird. But seeing as how you're listening there are a couple of things that I still think you ought to hear. You see I'm like the tape: you will pack me in crates and never listen to me much. And you're like the box, you always get lost and baby that sucks. Not all tapes have to end getting palmed off on friends or taken to parties and left, they don't have to get fucked and won't all self-destruct; honey take care of yourself. And the greatest tape that I ever made.