FESTIVAL OF WAGSTAFF

Click here to download/play Festival of Wagstaff as an mp3

I'd like to book a field, with a campsite and some weed, and put on a festival. To showcase all the shit ideas, the plans and bands I've had throughout the last twelve years. I hope all my friends can come from London, Devon, Birmingham - Oh Yeah! Doors will open at noon, with the first band onstage at two - bring your own drink and food.

With ringing in our ears, we've got non-musical careers.

Check out all the stalls, selling clothes I must have warn, but never suited me. They'd look better on the touts outside, who can get you in for the cost of half a pint. I hope the weather holds, 'cause we'll be sleeping in our clothes. Yeah. That same shirt again. You could buy some merchandise, but the t-shirts are too big and I guess that the rest isn't going to be so nice.

Scared of growing up? For those about to rock, oh please God make them stop.

In the dance arena I trust there'll be people busting ungainly manouvres that I used to bust. And on the circus stage every lover I've ever had will apologise for being such a slag. (sorry).

With ringing in our ears, we've got non-musical careers.

Tables will be set up and flags will be unfurled by every political affiliation I've ever appropriated in an attempt to impress girls. And in the backstage area there's celebrity look-a-likes, is that Jim Carrey there? Yes I guess it is. James Belushi playing with his kids, Daley Thompson tells it how it is. Oh there's Frank Black. And all the cocaine and oral sex can't hide the fact that I'm acting like a spastic and I don't know where it's at.

Scared of growing up? For those about to rock, oh please God make them stop.

(guitar maelstrom to fade)