WOLFPACK'S PARADISE

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As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I've got two missed calls and a couple of texts from a gang of hilariously hot brunettes who really want to know which pub we're going to next. And then they want to talk about a barbecue; do I want to go? Of course I fucking do. The charcoal's lit up at half past two. I'll bring the sausage if you buy booze..

Been waiting most my life just to get to Wolfpack's Paradise, where it's free in to the indie night, and all the girls are dressed up in stripy tights. Been waiting most my life just to get to Wolfpack's Paradise, and when you see me in the club tonight, lend me a tenner and I'll buy you a pint.

Minute after minute, hour after hour I've got some Fosters in the fridge and your sister in the shower. I've got the day off tomorrow and I would advise we watch Police Academy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I've been looking for a sturdy girl who won't fall down, she'll stop over whenever she's in town. Sometimes we sleep, sometimes we don't, sometimes we'll have a cup of tea and watch a video. But we'll always find time to do the things we like best of all, living our lives like a three-day festival, I only sing her songs because she deserves it and I'm only ever jealous 'cause she's worth it. Well, I'd better warn her I'm coming from my corner, Wolfpack of One putting his best paw forward. On Sunday afternoon I'm going to call her so we can have more roast than a premiership footballer.

Been waiting most my life just to get to Wolfpack's Paradise, it's you and me and a bottle of wine, a chicken tikka bhuna and a pilau rice. Been waiting most my life just to get to Wolfpack's Paradise, hey ladies! If you're not busy tonight, slide your assets over here and do what you like.

Commen t'allez vous? Je m'appelle Andre and I can rock a party 'till the break of day. Pump your fists now aujord'hui (and when I say that I mean everybody).

Been waiting most my life just to get to Wolfpack's Paradise.